Wedding Recap!

Well I’ve updated you on the half marathon and got a little deep into where we are today and where I’m going in the future and now it is time to recap the most magical day of my life thus far… wedding day!

I cannot even begin to describe how fabulous wedding day was. It went smoothly and although I did find out about a few little arguments here or there throughout the night I didn’t know about them that night nor did I know about anything going wrong or being out of place. So to me, it was just perfect!  So how do you begin to recap a wedding day… I suppose you actually have to start with rehearsal don’t you?

First off, I should mention that I have the very best friends and family a girl could ask for. I had my best friend Kara, my sister Brittney, my wonderful then fiancé, and Tim’s mom up at 7am on Friday morning ready to head to the hall to get some things set up and ready to go for the next day! They spent over 2 hours smiling and laughing over name cards being perfectly spaced out, candies being placed at individual place settings, and a candy bar being perfectly set up so that everything had its place. They even kept going after Tim and I snuck out for a couples massage.

Now those are the best kind of people to have in your life! The kind that knows how important one day is to you so they make it their priority as well. <3 them.

So after the set up, making sandwiches, organizing limo alcohol, and practicing our dance move we headed to rehearsal. And that is where shit got real haha.

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I’ve been in a few weddings. Actually at one point I thought they may want to do a remake of 27 dresses because I had lots of bridesmaid dresses stuffed in the closet without a wedding dress there to keep them company. So I’m used to rehearsals and listening intently to the church wedding coordinator and hearing the beautiful prayers the Priest gives to family and friends.I’m used to the bow bouquets and the “am I walking too fast or too slow” questions. I’m used to the mother’s tearing up and the dad’s gazing off into the nothingness thinking of the beverages they are about to have at the rehearsal dinner. So yea I’ve been to a few rehearsals.

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But no rehearsal you attend as a bridesmaid can prepare you for your own. There is just something so real about standing up at the alter practicing your wedding day. Then it is a whole other feeling to go to a dinner with 50+ people and just feel so incredibly humbled by the love in the room and the support knowing that all of those people are there for you. THEN you add all of those feelings on top of the fact that you also feel so grateful for your friends and family that have put in the time and effort to help make your wedding day special.

It’s sort of an impossible balance. They are there for you. But all you want to do is celebrate for them.

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It is actually a little overwhelming. So overwhelming in fact that Tim and I let it get to us a little too much and pulled the classic “take it out on the one you love”. It wasn’t anger or hurt driving our feelings but honestly it is like being a child again… completely incapable of processing your feelings. An overload on love that is so wonderful and magical that it is hard to believe.

So after figuring our how to process our feelings, Tim and I parted ways- him to stay at his mother’s for the night and me to stay at home with my best friend next to me and another very special great friend down the hall. And that night I didn’t….

bet you thought I was going to say sleep a wink? Actually I didn’t have any trouble sleeping. It surprised me because I was the little girl ready at 3am on my first day of school because I was so excited. But I slept like a rock that day. Perhaps because I was exhausted or maybe because I was so at ease knowing that the best thing that has happened to me in life was about to get even more important the next day.

So I woke up that morning and “snuck” out of the house and yes, Tim and I met for a run. The benefits of his mother only living a half a mile away. The best part was that I ran into my neighbor letting her dog out while I was trying to be sneaky. She didn’t even questions why I had men’s tennis shoes in my hands but simply said “enjoy your run”.

Not so sneaky after all.

Then the rest of the day was just perfect. Not a blur because I really tried to remember to take some deep breaths and look around to take it all in numerous times throughout the day.

We got ready and had fun doing makeup! P.S. if you ever need anything to do your makeup call me! My cousin Brandy is a makeup artists and did mine- she is fabulous!

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Then we got to the church and got dressed!

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And before I knew it… it was time to walk down the aisle! That was the one moment- with just me and my dad standing at the back of church looking at him fluffing that huge dress to ensure it looked its best and him looking up saying I’m proud of you and I love you that I realized what an important day it really was.

For me, the whole idea of not being “daddy’s little girl” was the hardest part about getting married. I would listen to songs (especially those country ones) about dad’s losing their little girls on their wedding day and they always made me cry. It was one of the things I was most worried about. But standing back there with my arm through my dad’s I quickly realized I wasn’t going to not be his “little girl” anymore I was simply going to be his “little girl who got married to a wonderful man”. He wasn’t going to lose me… we weren’t going to not see each other… but we were taking the next step in our lives together. Just like we always had. Just like when I scored my first soccer goal. Just like when I graduated from high school. Then college. Just like the day I moved to Boston. The day I quit my first job. Something did change that day.

We just took another step in our lives together!

And as the doors open and I took a deep breath I looked at my dad and could not help but to smile. I am one lucky little girl.

And then the first face I saw when they opened the doors was my friend Audrey whom I just adore! It was just the face I needed to see! Laughing and waving- I was so truly blessed to have so many people there to watch Tim and I take the next step in our relationship.

But then I saw Tim. and he looked like this

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And I could not have been prouder to call him my future husband.

The hour mass which probably felt like forever to everyone else went by so quickly for me. We listened to beautiful readings selected by us and read by our friends and family… we listened to beautiful music sung my one of my elementary school friends and her mom. We read vows prepared by the church and then those hand written to each other. It sounds cheesy but it could not have been more magical than it was in that moment. It could not have been more magical if we were standing in Hogwart’s… on broomsticks… with the snitch right in front of my face.

Too much? Nah. HP is never too much.

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It was perfect.

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Our best friends in the bridal party were champs! Holding up signs…

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Jumping in the air

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and watching us make-out. Or just kiss a little haha.

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And when we arrived at the reception site, Greystone Hall, and walked down the stairs in our “beach wear” we were again so humbled by all of those people there! Laughing, having fun, getting to know each other, and just being themselves. Exactly what we wanted them to do!

The reception went by fast! Food was great! People called me Mrs. Stiller.. which was weird

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My Dad gave a beautiful speech that made both my sister and I cry

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My sister, Kara, and Dana gave heartfelt speeches that made us so happy

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We danced.

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We did the sprinkler with Peyton.

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And we watched our friends celebrate with us

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And by the end of the night, Aunt and Uncles even got a little silly.

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It was seriously such a fabulous night. We got to see family and friends that we don’t see nearly as much. We got to celebrate our love for one another and our love for the people in our  lives. We got to thank our friends for being there for us. We made our parent’s proud. We made ourselves proud.

So for those of you that were there- THANK YOU! You truly made our day so very special and it means so much that you were there to celebrate. For those of you that have been following all of my wedding planning fun… THANK YOU! It was a magical day and totally worth the pain and heart ache (post to come soon haha) and I wouldn’t have changed a thing about it.

*Special thanks to all of our vendors. I would HIGHLY recommend any of them!*

Identity Crisis? What’s Next?

I’ve been worried. I’ve been worried that after the wedding and the half marathon was over I would be lost. I was worried that the identity I have been working to build over the last 14 months would be lost. I had worry wrinkles. That means it was serious, right?

I’ve been asked a few times since the wedding, “so what’s next for the blog?” I’ve been told “well, you’re not engaged and running anymore. You are married!” It’s been posed “are you still going to do your blog anymore? Or was that it?”

Well hmm. Good questions.

So I have been thinking about it and I have come to this conclusion….

I’m keeping the blog name as is. Not because I don’t love being married (I do!) and not because I can’t come up with another creative name (because I could, I think?) and it’s not because I am lost or confused and not sure what to do at this point. It’s because it’s just become part of who I am. It’s because I enjoy having friends and family ask me if they are going to make it on engaged and running or not and it’s because I like it. I like that part of me.

Then I found that “pledged” is a synonym is engaged. Pledgedandrunning.com doesn’t have the same ring to it does it? But really by definition it is what this is all about. I work every day to pledge myself, commit myself, to being happy healthy and to living life to its fullest the best way I know how.

So I’m keeping it. I’m still engagedandrunning.com.

But now who I am when I am not online? When I’m not blogging and sharing my life with the world? Who am I then?

I don’t know if anyone else experienced this when they got married but I started to feel a little overwhelmed by the loss of what I thought was my identity. To me, a name is not just a name. My first is a reminder of a trip my parents took with one another. My last name is a reminder of where I came from and the family I have. It’s not just letters put together to spell something. It was who I was.

And then add all of that on top this whole half marathon thing and wedding planning. Two things I have been planning for over a year and that kind of started to mold me into who I am today. It started with a proposal, turned into a commitment to a wonderful man and to multiple pairs of sneakers and time on the street and when it was all over… wedding was over, half marathon was done what did I have then? I was worried there was no answer. Sounds silly but I was seriously concerned that I had put so much of myself into two activities that I wouldn’t be able to define who I was anymore when they were both accomplished and gone.

Luckily that didn’t happen.

You may think it sounds cheesy and hell I feel cheesy for saying it but somewhere along the lines I think I sort of found myself. Without really trying to even knowing it at the time I found this inner strength and passion for life that I didn’t have before. I found a new appreciation for the man who has been in my life for 6 years, for friends that are there for you no matter what, for family that drives for hours or goes out on a limb to make things right. In the heat of worrying if I was losing myself, I finally found it.

There was something about slipping on the dance floor during our first dance thinking I was going down and bracing myself for the pain only to realize that there were two very strong arms there to hold me up and that I no longer had to worry about falling. It was the moment walking down the aisle looking in his eyes that I knew the label girlfriend and fiancé wouldn’t satisfy me anymore because being his wife was exactly where I wanted to be. It was looking across the room during cocktail hour and catching his eye just long to see the smile on his face as he mouth I loved you. It was waking up next to him the next morning and knowing that no matter what happens I get to do that for the rest of my life.

And then it was crossing the finish line at the half marathon, legs tired and achy and body wanting to stop that made me proud to have accomplished something I had considered impossible just a year ago. It was at mile 8 when I thought I couldn’t keep going that I blocked out all of that negative mental crap and thought about the hard word I had put in. It was seeing my husband and my best friend at the finish line waiting with support and smile that made it all worth it. With unsteady legs and my heart beating fast the finish line wasn’t just the end of 13.1 miles, it was the end to a beginning. It was the end of that training and the beginning of the next. I felt more like myself in those moments than I ever have before.

So yea the first post back was a little heavy but I wanted to be sure I addressed all of those lingering questions right away…

engagedandrunning.com is here to stay and is back… A MARRIED WOMAN A HALF MARATHON RUNNERAND BETTER THAN EVER!

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I’m Back!!

Hello everyone!! Gosh, I really miss you and the blog! As you know, writing is something I do for FUN so I have sincerely been missing our time together =)

With everything that has been going on over the last 4 weeks I am seriously struggling on where to start with updates! So here is the order (each # is a post) in which I decided to update everyone on all of the fabulous things that have been going on in my life…

  1. Where is the blog going now? Where I am going for that matter?
  2. Half Marathon Chat
  3. Wedding recap
  4. What would I do differently wedding chat
  5. Update blog pictures/labels (not really a post but I need to do this)
  6. Honeymoon Fun
  7. Next Big Thing
  8. Random other great things happening

Working on that first one now, so stay tuned to figure out who I am not and where I’m going next…

Oh hello 4 flights of stairs… we meet again!

So my mom read the blog from yesterday where I reluctantly declared that I have been majorly slacking on my running/training.

Big mistake. Huge. I’m going shopping now. Name that movie READY GO. If you didn’t get it I’m not sure we should be friends anymore.

So last night’s CrossFit classes consisted of a short list of “to-do’s” which immediately gives you the very unrealistic view that the workout will be easy or at the very least won’t make you too sore.

Wrong.

While the workout looks easy, trust me it is not…

  1. Row 1000 meters
  2. 15 Band Clap Push-Ups (you use a band attached to the workstation and put it on  your chest- yea it’s like a free boob lift- and then you do a push-up and clap as you come up)
  3. 20 dumbbell swings w/ 30lb dumbbell
  4. 10 front squats with 45 pound bar

Repeat 4 times

So if you are counting that is 4000 meters, 60 band clap push-ups, 80 dumbbell swings, and 40 front squats. Oddly enough the dumbbell swings were the toughest for me. If I am being perfectly honest with myself I think it is because I haven’t been challenging myself lately to increase my weight and have been hovering around 20 pounds for far too long. That 30 pounds felt like a freaking more like 80 if you ask me. The 1000 meters was perfect so we were able to get in that cardio I have been lacking… always feels good to get the heart rate up and the sweat dripping down your face! And then the next day when you get to work and walk up 4 flights of stairs you will be unhappily happy that you worked your butt off!

I find the band clap push-ups to be pretty fun actually. I bet they wouldn’t be nearly as much fun without a band to ensure I don’t fall on my face. This is not one of those times where I recommend trying it at home.

You should. But I wouldn’t.

I also received this text message picture from my fellow half marathon trainee and friend Ashley! We have been trying to motivate each other but have failed terribly because both of our have been slacking. She stepped it up yesterday though when she sent this and assured me she would pass along the magazine for my reading pleasure.

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Then she even shared this quote with me which I absolutely loved.

“talking about a half-marathon is such a beautiful thing; why would anyone want to ruin it by actually doing on.”

Well said Ashley. Well typed actually since it was a text. Just the perfect amount of motivation and humor to make me giggle and want to stop the wiggle.

Yep just came up with this right in this moment. Solid effort.

So it is 1 month until the WEDDING DAY. Can you believe it? OMG wow. So I need to STEP UP MY GAME so I started thinking about what I wanted to improve and what I am really proud of because I think it is important to remember the things you are good at and the things you love about yourself MORE than the things you wish you could change.

“Love yourself first. Do your best always. Set realistic goals.”

Yep just made that up now too. I see a bumper sticker in my future.

So here is my things of things I am proud of and love about myself to get me going (fitness related for the purpose of this discussion but I also love that I am ridiculously good at writing blogs haha *insert sarcasm here*)…

  1. My legs have really taken shape. Yep, my thighs don’t touch anymore. A+
  2. My butt is small but I’m over it. Sometimes I tell Tim that I wish I had a “juicy” butt. That’s a healthy butt that has a wiggle you can be proud of. My butt isn’t “juicy” but I love juice and I have a butt so I’m calling this a win
  3. My stamina is improving… I notice this the most when I play soccer on Sundays. I used to be OUT OF BREATH LITERALLY DYING on the soccer field 99% of the time. Now I come off to sub to grab a drink of water but I’m not dying. Major improvement.
  4. My arms look better in pictures I think. I don’t know if this is because I FINALLY found the arm trick where you pop your arm out to the side so you don’t get a huge fat arm in pictures OR if they honestly just look more tone and fabulous. Who cares- they look better.

And here are the things that I will focus on improving..

  1. My commitment to running- not much else to say here… step up Jaci and put your “big girl panties on”
  2. My back- I just realized that in 30 days 100 some people will be staring at my back for an hour in a beautiful church. Might as well give them something to look at.
  3. Abs- bathing suit season is just around the corner… well for those of going on a honeymoon it is! This is 90% diet I know that. I’ll miss you fruit snacks.

But let’s be clear  here- I realize that target exercising is not the best way to achieve results. All over workouts are where it is at so I most certainly will continue on with my cross-training the way I have been. I think I’ll just start a push-up challenge for 30 days. One less push-up a day.

Who’s with me?!

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