Happy New Year- Resolutions

Happy New Year Engaged & Running readers!!

2013

I wasn’t sure the best way to approach the famous “2013 Resolutions” so I wrote a letter to myself and instead of trying to come up with a crazy creative post that may not actually inspire anyone I decided just to share my letter with all of you…

New Years Letter

Akron “Halfathon!”

Can you believe a year ago I was just starting to run? I remember those early mornings where I could only run 1-3 minutes at a time before I needed to walk or sometimes even quit. I remember the 5K’s at Komen(year 1 and 2), The Gift of Life 5K, and even the local races like the lightening bug race. I remember the achy legs and the dreadful walk up and down the stairs just to go to bed. I remember it was rough and now I am reflecting back on a 13.1 mile run that may have been the most rewarding run I’ve had thus far.

Photo Sep 29, 5 51 12 AM

I thought the best way to commemorate this event was to of course reflect on the run itself and offer up some real truths…

The run was well so tough and so extremely rewarding that it is honestly hard to balance two such very different emotions. I was there with three very inspirational friends and a friend’s dad that offered up great advice and was a real motivator. So Ashley and Ann headed to downtown Akron with me at 6:00 in the morning. When we got there we arrived- top floor of the parking garage in the cold air and headed toward the meeting place. By some miracle I overheard a voice say (yes with 15,000 people there) “I tried to call Jaci” and like BAM Jen and her dad were standing right behind us in the 10:30 pace group. How we managed to find each other in all of those people is what I would typically call impossible so I can only assume it was fate.

Photo Sep 29, 10 55 41 AM

We took off on the course with fireworks in the air and tears in my eyes. It was such an overwhelming feeling that I honestly had tears in my eyes as we took off because I feel like I have been thinking about this event for months and for it to actually be there was such a crazy but wonderful feeling.

I would say the first 4 miles were just full of adrenaline and fun. Because I had completed a lot of 5K’s over the past year I was 100% confident that I could run the 3 miles so I was just having fun and taking my time at a pretty solid 11 min/mile pace. Mile 7 was a steady incline up hill and was when I really started to feel my legs start to tremble. It was pretty much a full mile of just oh my goodness when is this torture going to end. And like most things, the pain came to an end when we leveled out around mile 8. Now let’s not forget about mile 4-7… those miles were truly about my body. I really tried to concentrate on everything going on- my feet putting one front in front of the other, my arms pumping but not too much in an attempt to “chi run” and my hips working on the rotation and the movement that they hadn’t felt in quite a while. It was one of those times when you kind of have that “AHA” moment and you realize what your body can actually do and while I could tell mine was going to start feeling a little sore in the near future it was truly a cool feeling/realization to come to. So after mile 8 leveled out we were really on the home stretch. My legs were TIRED especially my right hamstring and it was getting almost impossible to ignore. I didn’t even say it outloud to Ann though who was trucking along beside me because something about saying it out loud made it too real for me. I passed a sign right around mile 9 that read “Sure it hurts, but it’s not getting worse. Keep going.” And that sign was right! It wasn’t that my legs hurt any worse at mile 9 than they did at mile 7 it was a steady pain and while that doesn’t sound ideal it was better than it getting worse and worse as the miles went on. That sign may have saved me.

Or maybe it was the guy with the Obama mask on standing outside his house waving at people. That may have saved me too.

Photo Sep 29, 10 55 58 AM

So as we hit mile 10 the first thing that popped into my head (and probably most of those around me) was… Just a 5K left and I can do that! Well that was the longest and perhaps the most painful 5K I have ever been in. I had to really mentally tell myself that I was strong and that I could finish this thing and knowing that if I finished it I would accomplishment one of my life goals or “bucket list” item if you will kept me going.

And going.

And going.

Until we finally hit that sign that said 1 mile left. Realizing that we had been at a steady 11 min/mile pace for the entire run made it that much easier to just keep going. One foot in front of the other is what I kept repeating in my head. You can do it Jaci are the words I kept telling myself. The mile was long but it was the weirdest mile I have ever experienced. It was like the last mile of a stage in my life. A stage in my life where I only dreamed of being a “runner.” The type of runner that could wake up one morning and go complete the Akron Half Marathon. The type of runner that could do more. Hell, I was a runner that last mile and every single mile before it. The miles a year ago- I was a runner. The miles 4 months ago- I was a runner. And now I’m a runner that did a half marathon.

Photo Oct 01, 5 48 53 PM

While that last mile was a mile I’ll never forget the best part of the race had to be the turn into the stadium where the finish line was. The road was hard for 13 miles, the people cheered and we made it through, but that was nothing like the last few steps of that marathon. As I rounded the corner into the stage hand in hand with Ann I went numb. My entire body went numb. I was so overwhelmed with joy at the amount of people on the field, in the stands, and surrounding us with smiles and cheers that it no longer mattered that I was sweaty and gross. It didn’t matter that my legs hurt or that my hand had fallen asleep a mile before. All that really mattered was that I did.

I completed a half marathon. I completed a half marathon in 2 hours 27 minutes and 33 seconds. I completed a half marathon in which I RAN EVERY SINGLE STEP of that way. I, the girl that could barely run a mile just a year ago, completed a half marathon.

I did. And I want to do it again.

But what about the real truth? It sounds great right- I cried, I got a medal and a sweat hat, and I accomplished a goal I set for myself. That is all great news. But what about the rest?

It was tough. It was really tough for me. If I had to do it over I would NOT have scheduled a half marathon just 2 weeks after my wedding and days after I returned from my honeymoon. I would have trained harder- longer- and I would have ran it faster and harder. You have to WORK to complete these types of goals. At least I do. 13.1 miles DOES NOT come easily to this girl. You have to work. You have to work HARD. And trust me I know that is it TIME CONSUMING and sometimes you just DON’T FEEL LIKE IT but you HAVE to do it. And when you do it..

It is SO SO worth it.

Training was hard. I had to give up things to go run in the mornings. I had to get up earlier than I wanted on the weekends. I had to sweat uncontrollably. I had achy legs and used more heating pads and iced than I ever had before. But when I crossed that finish line NONE of that stuff mattered anymore. What mattered was the feeling I had knowing I had gone after something I REALLY wanted.

I accomplished it. My legs took me 13.1 miles. The support from my family and friends took me 13.1 miles. My mind took me 13.1 miles. But more importantly my heart took me 13.1 miles.

And while it is not ready quite yet, I believe it can take me 13.1 more.

 

Photo Sep 29, 2 41 10 PM

Identity Crisis? What’s Next?

I’ve been worried. I’ve been worried that after the wedding and the half marathon was over I would be lost. I was worried that the identity I have been working to build over the last 14 months would be lost. I had worry wrinkles. That means it was serious, right?

I’ve been asked a few times since the wedding, “so what’s next for the blog?” I’ve been told “well, you’re not engaged and running anymore. You are married!” It’s been posed “are you still going to do your blog anymore? Or was that it?”

Well hmm. Good questions.

So I have been thinking about it and I have come to this conclusion….

I’m keeping the blog name as is. Not because I don’t love being married (I do!) and not because I can’t come up with another creative name (because I could, I think?) and it’s not because I am lost or confused and not sure what to do at this point. It’s because it’s just become part of who I am. It’s because I enjoy having friends and family ask me if they are going to make it on engaged and running or not and it’s because I like it. I like that part of me.

Then I found that “pledged” is a synonym is engaged. Pledgedandrunning.com doesn’t have the same ring to it does it? But really by definition it is what this is all about. I work every day to pledge myself, commit myself, to being happy healthy and to living life to its fullest the best way I know how.

So I’m keeping it. I’m still engagedandrunning.com.

But now who I am when I am not online? When I’m not blogging and sharing my life with the world? Who am I then?

I don’t know if anyone else experienced this when they got married but I started to feel a little overwhelmed by the loss of what I thought was my identity. To me, a name is not just a name. My first is a reminder of a trip my parents took with one another. My last name is a reminder of where I came from and the family I have. It’s not just letters put together to spell something. It was who I was.

And then add all of that on top this whole half marathon thing and wedding planning. Two things I have been planning for over a year and that kind of started to mold me into who I am today. It started with a proposal, turned into a commitment to a wonderful man and to multiple pairs of sneakers and time on the street and when it was all over… wedding was over, half marathon was done what did I have then? I was worried there was no answer. Sounds silly but I was seriously concerned that I had put so much of myself into two activities that I wouldn’t be able to define who I was anymore when they were both accomplished and gone.

Luckily that didn’t happen.

You may think it sounds cheesy and hell I feel cheesy for saying it but somewhere along the lines I think I sort of found myself. Without really trying to even knowing it at the time I found this inner strength and passion for life that I didn’t have before. I found a new appreciation for the man who has been in my life for 6 years, for friends that are there for you no matter what, for family that drives for hours or goes out on a limb to make things right. In the heat of worrying if I was losing myself, I finally found it.

There was something about slipping on the dance floor during our first dance thinking I was going down and bracing myself for the pain only to realize that there were two very strong arms there to hold me up and that I no longer had to worry about falling. It was the moment walking down the aisle looking in his eyes that I knew the label girlfriend and fiancé wouldn’t satisfy me anymore because being his wife was exactly where I wanted to be. It was looking across the room during cocktail hour and catching his eye just long to see the smile on his face as he mouth I loved you. It was waking up next to him the next morning and knowing that no matter what happens I get to do that for the rest of my life.

And then it was crossing the finish line at the half marathon, legs tired and achy and body wanting to stop that made me proud to have accomplished something I had considered impossible just a year ago. It was at mile 8 when I thought I couldn’t keep going that I blocked out all of that negative mental crap and thought about the hard word I had put in. It was seeing my husband and my best friend at the finish line waiting with support and smile that made it all worth it. With unsteady legs and my heart beating fast the finish line wasn’t just the end of 13.1 miles, it was the end to a beginning. It was the end of that training and the beginning of the next. I felt more like myself in those moments than I ever have before.

So yea the first post back was a little heavy but I wanted to be sure I addressed all of those lingering questions right away…

engagedandrunning.com is here to stay and is back… A MARRIED WOMAN A HALF MARATHON RUNNERAND BETTER THAN EVER!

253153_252911574831427_1303567578_n

10 Miler- LONGEST YET!

I think it is fair to say that it is not possible to adequately manage a blog, grad school, and wedding planning. So I apologize but the blog has been taking the grunt of that imbalance as grad school and wedding planning doesn’t really give me the flexibility to choose.

But I am determined to write on here TWICE this week for a few different reasons.

#1: I just enjoy it. And with everything going on this week I think I deserve to ENJOY some time to myself/sharing with you

#2: I’ve been doing cool stuff haha so why wouldn’t I want to share it.

I ran my LONGEST run ever the other day.

I was ready to Sweat Pink…

Photo Sep 01, 9 09 00 AM

YAY for that. And yes, I don’t too often share a no make-up just rolled out of bed photo but I figure hey why not!

Boo for how ridiculously hot and  humid it was without any water.

It may be classified as torture now that I think about it.

So Saturday of my bachelorette party (2 Saturdays ago) I decided I needed to run 10 miles in the morning. Most halfathon training programs max you out at 10 so I figured it I could do that like 4 weeks before the actually run I should be ok.

And I had been able to last the entire 10 miles I would be.

Well I did LAST the entire 10 miles because well I had to. When you run 5 miles away from your car you really don’t have a choice but to get back. Or you can make a phone call and get a ride but I had no1 to call since Tim was already out the door for bachelor party festivities.

So instead I turned my butt around and headed the long and torturous 5 miles back to the car.

Next purchase… one of these.

nike-lightweight-running-handheld-water-bottle

Actually, I just purchased it haha. I was SO thirsty because humidity and the length of the run. I was ok on water for the 8 miler but the mileage combined with the heat was too much for my body to handle. I ended up getting a drink out of the less than desirable fountain at 4.25 and then again after my turn around so it was more of a back to back drink instead of a steady stream of water just waiting for me to take a sip.

Wow this is a large conversation about water but that was my big AHA moment during this run and when I realized I needed to invest in this little guy to be able to get through that 13.1 mile run.

The other big AHA moment I had was more of a slap in the face haha. At 5 miles I started to get REALLY down on myself because I was so disappointed when I realized I didn’t think I could do it. I knew that a less than impressive time and some walking was in my near future so I had to pull the 1-2 attitude check at about mile 6.

This is the check where I just stop. I come to a complete stop, I close my eyes, I breath deeply, and literally say to myself inside my head “Stop it. This is impressive. You are awesome. Keep going and be proud.” And then somehow someway like magic my attitude comes back to where it should be and I can move on. This sounds crazy- well aware of that but honestly it has gotten me through some tough workouts and runs. I am a firm believer that if you allow it to your mind will give us FAR before your body will so for me, it is actually MORE important to train my mind than my body.

2 hours later and about 2.5 walking miles later I was back to my car, smiling ear to ear, and ready to partay with some of my friends!!

There was NOTHING to be ashamed about day (well at least not the run part haha).

And in case you wanted proof- I snapped a screen shot of the weather that day to prove how miserable it was! Check out that 68% humidity. That was the worst part I think!!

Photo Sep 01, 10 46 22 AM

In other news, we have a new recruit for the Akron Half! ANN step up and claim your prize… you will have the  pleasure of sweating it up, sore legs, and stinky feet with me in just a few weeks! This makes Ann, Jen, and Ashley all part of our FIRST HALF MARATHON loving to run group! YAY for us! We rock =) Robyn is also part of our learning to love running group but she is ahead of the game and already completed a half!!

Any good runs you all can share?! Every little bit of inspiration helps!!