So my friend Jen is pretty fantastic. She is the type of friend that always has good news to share and can pick you up even when you are feeling blue. Today Jen shared with me an article from the the online Wall Street Journal. Jason Gay wrote an article on the 27 Rules of Conquering the Gym. Below I have a few of my favorite rules but check out the full article here if you are looking for a good laugh!
1. A gym is not designed to make you feel instantly better about yourself. If a gym wanted to make you feel instantly better about yourself, it would be a bar.
4. No one in the history of gyms has ever lost a pound while reading “The New Yorker” and slowly pedaling a recumbent bicycle. No one.
6. Don’t fall for gimmicks. The only tried-and-true method to lose 10 pounds in 48 hours is food poisoning.
9. “Great job!” is trainer-speak for “It’s not polite for me to laugh at you.”
10. Beware a hip gym with a Wilco step class.
11. Gyms have two types of members: Members who wipe down the machines after using them, and the worst people in the universe.
12. Nope, that’s not a “recovery energy bar with antioxidant dark chocolate.” That’s a chocolate bar.
18. Be cautious about any class with the words “sunrise,” “hell,” or “Moby.”
19. If a gym class is going to be effective, it’s hard. If you’re relaxed and enjoying yourself, you’re at brunch.
22. Fancy gyms can be seductive, but once you get past the modern couches and fresh flowers and the water with lemon slices, you’re basically paying for a boutique hotel with B.O.
23. Everyone sees you secretly racing the old people in the pool.
25. Fact: Thinking about going to the gym burns between 0 and 0 calories.
26. A successful gym membership is like a marriage: If it’s good, you show up committed and ready for hard work. If it’s not good, you show up in sweatpants and watch a lot of bad TV.
